You SUCK!
Did Kat have to pay for mauling Joey's car?
Like seriously. She rammed so hard into his Porsche that the fiberglass splintered. Sure Mr. Stratford's insurance doesn't cover PMS, but did he tell them she had a seizure? If he did, that's fraud, and if he didn't that's a hefty damage bill for the same week he sends off a seat deposit to an East Coast school.
Prediction: He paid it, but Kat had to get a job at a deli in college (and she subsequently falls in love with the Prince of Denmark).
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Did Kat get suspended for kicking Bobby Ridgeway so hard he had to have a testicle retrieval operation?
I'm all for women's empowerment, but kicking someone so hard in the nuts that they have to surgically pull them out from themselves? Ouch. But a friend pointed out we shouldn't feel too bad for Bobby Ridgeway; infamous Washington serial killer Gary Ridgeway (Convicted of 49 murders, confessed to at least 71, presumed to be 90+) may be a relative! The hat tip in names are unlikely to be a coincidence with writing this whip smart.
Prediction: Kat probably got a week's suspension, but since it was after she sent in her Sarah Lawrence application, she didn't mind.
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Did Perky ever get published?
Everyone's favorite guidance counselor and her not-so-secret love of writing steamy erotica novels is a curiosity. Did she ever make it with that bratwurst line? Tumescent? Quivering member?
Prediction: She wormed her way into a pen name behind a long line of erotic - er - romance novels. Unfortunately, it paid almost nothing, so she had to keep guiding students to see their "potential." Luckily the next update of Microsoft Word had the Thesaurus function, so she could finally stop badgering Judith for synonyms for "engorged."
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