“Directions: Pour into an oiled fish mold and chill until firm.”
Danny Kim for BuzzFeed / Alice Mongkonglite
We, like the rest of the internet, have long been fascinated by the plethora of disgusting vintage recipes that pop up all over Pinterest. Why so much jellied tomato? Who knew you could put a shrimp THERE? How many quivering meat-based loafs could a single person possibly have had time to eat?
In the pursuit of ~journalism~, and because we were genuinely curious about how Jell-O mixes with cauliflower, we made five of the most fascinatingly terrible-looking recipes and put them in our mouths and bodies. Though they may seem like a random assemblage of foods, every single one of these was an actual recipe created by an actual human being (or Jell-O marketing executive) and published somewhere so other human beings could read about it and make it for themselves. Maybe even your grandparents!
Spoiler: It wasn't pretty.
John Gara / BuzzFeed
First, we tried this "Frosted Ribbon Loaf."
The name sounds so elegant until you get to the "loaf" part. But it's just a giant sandwich with boiled ham, eggs, lots of mustard, and a shitload of cream cheese. That's what the "frosted" part is: multiple packages of thickly layered, room-temperature cream cheese.
See the original photo and the recipe here.
Danny Kim / John Gara / Alice Mongkonglite
