Once upon a time, in the county of Dade…
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1. Her stepsisters, Caro and Other Caro, would've gone to Coconut Grove without her.
2. Her evil stepmother, Madreslaysis, would've yelled at Cinderella if she dared to clean while her favorite novela was on. (She can't get enough William Levy, after all.)
3. Cinderella would befriend lizards and small, wild parrots.
4. The prince's ball would take place at Vizcaya, Miami's very own palace.
5. Cinderella's lizard and parrot friends would've made her a lovely dress, using sewing materials from her cookie tin.
6. But her stepsisters would call her "some randa," ridicule her dress, and force her to stay home!
"Oye, Cindy. You can't do that somewhere else?" hissed Madreslaysis.
Charlotte Gomez / BuzzFeed
7. Cinderella would cry onto her pillow, and the Miami humidity and tears would make her hair totally frizzy.
8. Her fairy godmother would appear: Celia Cruz!
9. Celia's salsa remix version of "Bippity Boppity Boo" would, of course, feature Pitbull and DJ Khaled. #dale #lionorder
10. Celia would transform a plain old malanga into a beautiful stretch limo with diamond rims fit for a princess!
11. For a dress, Celia would've spun palm fronds into a shimmering fabric to make a bodycon dress with plunging neckline. So chic!
12. Celia would have deftly transformed one of Cinderella's lizard friends into a chauffeur for her beautiful new limo.
