“I love how you only blinked once when asked what it feels like to be middle-aged by a colleague who’s five years younger than you!”
From My Preschool Teacher
"It's very smart of you to remain awake while all of the children are napping. Your wily spy skills will enable you to catch me as I sneak the desserts out of everyone's packed lunch, for that is the only reasonable explanation as to why your mother hasn't included a Tastykake lately."
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"I am really impressed that you know all of the words to the obscure song 'My Mother's Wedding Day' from the musical Brigadoon. Like you, I was also not allowed to watch The Brady Bunch last night, and instead caught the showing of that movie on PBS. If we were not but 10 years old, I would whisk you away to live together forever in that magic Scottish dale."
From the Most Popular Girl in My Grade
“You did such a great job of applying multiple layers of concealer, foundation, and pressed powder that I can barely tell you suffer from extremely intense adolescent acne. It’s really only in the very brightest of lights that it’s apparent. You should probably look into stage makeup as a career, you deeply talented artist, you.”
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From That One Really Hot Senior Guy
"Wow, many people are fans of Monty Python, but it takes a very sexy woman to be able to recite all of the "Dead Parrot" sketch on the dance floor of a high school prom while Eric Clapton's "Wonderful Tonight" is playing and other couples are slow-dancing. Your physical awkwardness means nothing to me now. Come on over here, hot stuff!"
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