Oh, the sweet misery.
We asked queer women to tell us about their own experiences falling for, or hopelessly crushing on, women who identify as straight.
Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed
"This is kind of hard to talk about right now because my feelings for my straight best friend are very powerful in the way that girl best friendships typically are. We have an incredibly close friendship, make jokes about being a married couple all the time, but she has no idea that sometimes I think about her in a deeper way. The confusing part is that those deeper feelings come and go and are super fleeting.
She's crazy attractive and the funniest person I know. I have dated gay and bi girls in the past, and I consider myself bi. As much as I've thought about it, I could never act on my feelings for her in the event that it would destroy everything we have and ruin our friendship. So for the past few months I've been in and out of this weird limbo of denial and doubt and feelings of stupidity. Once those negative feelings pass, I come out of my hole and feel fine again. It's the ebb and flow of the 'yes I'm attracted to her' juxtaposed with the 'actually wait maybe I'm not really / don't be stupid' that's been a great challenge to deal with."
"When I was still in school a few years ago, I had a class located in this huge lecture hall in the university's business school building, which was weird because there were only like 35 students in the class. One of them was this reeeaaaaaally hot girl who I just ... could not stop looking at during class. We sat on opposite ends so I could not even see her that well, but, you know, well enough to know she was really hot. She was really tan (it was fall semester and her summer tan just seemed to never go away, which was unfair), and had really short blonde hair swooped to the side. Like, just the best alternative lifestyle haircut. And she always wore a leather jacket, which looked great. Anyway, I never even figured out what her name was (somehow?? despite the small class size?) or even spoke to her. Eventually I saw her holding hands with a guy around campus and felt weirdly disappointed, not even necessarily for myself but just for like... all women."
