Putting gooey aliens back to back does NOT make them reproduce.
Gooey plastic aliens cannot reproduce if you place them back to back.
Why it was important: It taught us that sex does not work if you are both backwards, but also that it doesn't work at all if you are made out of stretchable plastic and goo.
Snakes love eating pixels, but they die if they crash into walls.
Why it was important: It taught us to care about animal welfare, and also prepared us for the years of staring intently at small screens that will consume us for the rest of our lives.
Rubber bracelets can cure cancer.
Why it was important: Because cancer is bad, and looking fucking cool by wearing a yellow wristband to school is good.
It is important to keep a good and organised ranking of all of your friends.
Why it was important: Because the drama of every school day meant that these rankings were constantly changing, and what better way was there to tell Dave he was being a twat than by knocking him down a couple of spots on your MySpace top eight.
